Make Yourself Invincible

Still struggling with that superhuman strength? Haven't quite got the robot assassins out of beta? Why not take out some insurance with a wardrobe from British inventor Richard Palmer's D30 foam, which only becomes stronger the harder it's hit -- even if a would-be hero or Sky TV reporter is whacking you in the head with a shovel. Alternately, perhaps Richard Palmer himself would look nice chained up in your secret laboratory. The choice is yours.

Put the Maniacal Back into Your Laugh

Even the laziest of henchmen have their uses. I caught mine watching this video the other week. Aside from the obvious comedic value, I believe the design of this "squirrel catapult" has definite potential for other, more devious applications. Not that I don't approve of launching innocent furry animals into space. But you have to think bigger, people.

A Mighty Fortress is Our Lair

Let's face it.

You can be the most conniving supervillain in existence, but you'll never win true notoriety without a secret lair. If you're still toiling away in a dismal rented office downtown, it's well past time to pony up a few grand and invest in a secret base of your very own.

What's that you say, you don't know much about evil real estate?

Really now. It's a new world, my friends, with a new world order! Cast off your petty reservations and join me on... eBay.

Why look, someone's selling 57 acres of prime Titan missile base for a cool 1.5 million dollars.

That'll show the boys back at the Guild of Calamitous Intent, now won't it?